I'm not sure how many people noticed but this page completed two years of existence on the WWW a couple of months ago. Been an interesting time so far. Like I told a friend when I started blogging, "It's not simple."
I started this blog to get myself to write. To see if I could do something with one of the few talents that I have. I kept a journal in college where I would put down my thoughts now and then. But after I started working, the journal took a back-seat and writing ground to a halt. So when I started this blog, it gave me sufficient impetus to start writing again. And through two years of largely sporadic writing, I've had a good time here, met a few interesting people, exchanged lot of ideas, indulged in comment-wars and in between, managed to improve my writing skills as well.
That said, in the last three months, I've come this close to shutting this blog down on at least four occasions.
I think it's primarily because I find myself in a netherworld of sorts, a phase where I seem to have a lot of ideas but no port to anchor them in. I find myself in a value-vacuum where any piece of writing that I come up with is not me, so to say, simply because the emotion seems to be slightly insincere (which might be because I've been grappling with issues of identity for a long time now). And whenever I've managed to write something that's intellectually honest and not deluded, it's taken a lot out of me. Besides, considering the fact that I have no illusions about my mediocrity (please let it be; I'm not being modest here), it's become very tough to get myself to publish anything.
There are other reasons, like my life in the offline world and certain things that I dearly want to accomplish in the coming months, my poor time-management skills and the beating that my other interests have taken as a result of constantly having to spend time thinking about what to write.
Simply put, I've not been enjoying blogging. I need a break. Until I find myself again.
I don't know how long this will last. Maybe you'll come back tomorrow and find a new post up. Or maybe never.
Until then, thanks for all the comments and the traffic.
Bye.
PS: musafirblog[at]gmail[dot]com, in case you feel like a shout.
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