Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Alone

when winter comes
I will be alone,
waiting
for it to snow
on the grass,
waiting
for the shadows
to desert me,
waiting...

silence surrounds,
supine yet solid,
fragile, forlorn.
the nights visit,
I find
their company cold,
but welcome.
books freeze
in my hands,
their words tasteless
like ice,
I wait
for meaning
to thaw my heart
to life

poems form,
filling the vacancy
in my head,
metaphors dance,
images throb,
syllables sing in
an unreal rhythm.
but gloom descends
on the paper
as I write,
the ink dries
before it can flow,
and my words lie
waiting,
for spring,
waiting,
for winter
to pass me by

fences block
friendly paths,
as I try and venture
where I've not.
I stand and gaze
at the gates --
as evening
and dusk merge --
thinking of
an unheard music,
calling out
into the echoless distance,
waiting,
for a voice
to vibrate itself
into my thoughts,
waiting,
for the locks
to fall open

the flowers
have dispappeared,
and so has the cheer
of the sun.
the calendar hangs,
withered,
marking without purpose,
a futile existence.
the streets are quiet,
even the ghosts
stay away today.
I trudge
a thin line
between sanity
and superficiality,
waiting
for the courage
to stop,
and say
'Enough!'

***

when winter comes,
I will be dead
and gone,
waiting
for it to snow
on a grassy grave,
mine,
waiting
for the shadows
to let me sleep,
to let me be,
waiting...
for heaven

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

why so morose :( gets my spirits down......& as if iam respnsible...

catch 22 said...

I miss u buddy, I miss all those talks we used to have I long for them, are those days lost forever ?

Ravi said...

Cheeer up. Its a new year. All the very best!

ameoba said...

finally! u return.
No offense but i think u r better with prose. Please write more frequently!

musafir said...

@anonymous: Ah, it's nothing, I was just indulging in my solitude. It's got nothing to do with anybody.

@ catch 22: C'mon now, get a grip. What will my readers think of us now? :D

Anyway, yes, being in different cities isn't going to help, but you know what Akash says during the ship scene right? Keep the spirit buddy!

@ ravi: I'm already "cheered" up :)

Thanks for the wishes! May the year save its best for you.

@ amoeba: Wow! Another reader, and an anonymous one at that! Do I know you?

Anyway, you hit the nail on the head -- my prose is better, and the reason for that is because I'm guilty of being lackadaisical when it comes to poetry. Your comment is incentive enough for me to work hard at improving it :) I'm still someone trying to discover the joys of writing and writing better.

Thanks for hanging around and leaving a comment. And yes, I will try to write more frequently :). Do drop a link the next time - would love to come visiting.

LUCKY said...

Winter is time when everyone really seeks the sun for its warmth.
Winter is time when people huddle around fires to share stories.
Winter is time when flowers wither only to bloom soon in its full glory.
Winter reminds us that there is always a spring coming....

dei.. life is beautiful .. even in winter.

musafir said...

@ lucky:

:) - yes, I understand what you're trying to say. But there are times when you realize that essentially we are all lonely creatures and that the world we create around ourselves is impermanent and ephemeral .. that was what I was trying to get at; didn't know if I succeeded or not.