Thursday, November 27, 2014

Itni Khafa Nahi ...

It's 1 AM.

We are somewhere near South Ex, the cab gritting its gears through unfriendly truck traffic.

I'm playing chess on the phone, cheating a little by taking back moves now and then. The other guys are either sleeping or staring out, lost in thought.

And then, out of nowhere, the ether comes alive on FM. I ask the driver to turn up the volume.

Kahin toh ... Kahin toh ... Hogi woh ...


Innocence. Bushelfuls of it. And loads more to spare.

Life was suddenly a series of trips. Buses. Metros. Flights. Stations. Airports. Never staying too long in one place. Never planning for anything beyond tomorrow. One day at a time. One step at a time. Fragile. Handle with care.

Conversations. Possibilities. Uncertainty, brittle unforgiving uncertainty. Triumph. And disaster too, gut-wrenching disaster. How the world felt too big and too little at the same time.


The year that's too full of memories. The year that just would not come to an end. The year that changed everything. Forever.

And all it takes is that Rahman special to make me feel I can never be home again.

Jaane Naa Kahan Wo Duniya Hai,
Jaane Naa Wo Hai Bhi Ya Nahi,
Jahan Meri Zindagi Mujhse,

Itni Khafa Nahi ...


Anonymous said...

Maybe there will come another year that will change everything. And when it passes, you will realize you are home. Maybe it won't look the same, or even feel the exact same way. But you will know- this is it, and you are home.

Innocence. Maybe you still have some left over. For when you get home.

Anonymous said...

or maybe you will find in another year that you were innocent all along. even when you thought you weren't.

for possibilities always abound. and the wave of life leaves you with a lot of room for all choices before it crashes you into old age.

Anonymous said...

Are you home yet? Has 2008 finally closed up into a bottle?

musafir said...

Got get a life, people. Stop reading this blog.