Wednesday, June 13, 2007

I'm not sure how many people noticed but this page completed two years of existence on the WWW a couple of months ago. Been an interesting time so far. Like I told a friend when I started blogging, "It's not simple."
I started this blog to get myself to write. To see if I could do something with one of the few talents that I have. I kept a journal in college where I would put down my thoughts now and then. But after I started working, the journal took a back-seat and writing ground to a halt. So when I started this blog, it gave me sufficient impetus to start writing again. And through two years of largely sporadic writing, I've had a good time here, met a few interesting people, exchanged lot of ideas, indulged in comment-wars and in between, managed to improve my writing skills as well.
That said, in the last three months, I've come this close to shutting this blog down on at least four occasions.
I think it's primarily because I find myself in a netherworld of sorts, a phase where I seem to have a lot of ideas but no port to anchor them in. I find myself in a value-vacuum where any piece of writing that I come up with is not me, so to say, simply because the emotion seems to be slightly insincere (which might be because I've been grappling with issues of identity for a long time now). And whenever I've managed to write something that's intellectually honest and not deluded, it's taken a lot out of me. Besides, considering the fact that I have no illusions about my mediocrity (please let it be; I'm not being modest here), it's become very tough to get myself to publish anything.
There are other reasons, like my life in the offline world and certain things that I dearly want to accomplish in the coming months, my poor time-management skills and the beating that my other interests have taken as a result of constantly having to spend time thinking about what to write.
Simply put, I've not been enjoying blogging. I need a break. Until I find myself again.
I don't know how long this will last. Maybe you'll come back tomorrow and find a new post up. Or maybe never.
Until then, thanks for all the comments and the traffic.
Bye.
PS: musafirblog[at]gmail[dot]com, in case you feel like a shout.

6 comments:

Arundhathi said...

Got stuck in the elevator today ... Odd that it should coincide with this day ....

Anonymous said...

You will be back - am sure u will !! We will hang around till u "recover" :))))

P.S - I have a solution for all u'r problems - it's what people commonly prescribe to 24-25 year old's who have symptoms like the one u mentioned - get married !!

P.P.S - Happy Second Anniversary !! And it seems like yest when i first started reading u !! :))))

-Die Hard FAN

~SuCh~ said...

Strange...

"I have a solution for all u'r problems - ... - get married !! "

I got a similar suggestion to one of my "detached" reparteees yesterday...

Here's my 2 cents:

Start a new blog ! something like a daily journal, where you dont have to think much.... but keeps you writing... Writing is a great stress reliever.. especially to people who love doin it.. odd that you should get stressed by it..

musafir said...

arundhathi

Hey, that rhymes :)

MK

Ass :) ... That solution of yours only postpones the problems; you'll feel this way when you're 34 instead of 24. And by that time you're well and truly stuck in the domesticity trap to even consider calling it quits.

Thanks for the comment and "Die Hard FAN" huh? I didn't know you liked Bruce Willis :P

~such~

Oh, don't pay attention to that -- that's not a solution, it's a problem by itself! The more I think of it the more it seems to me that marriage keeps you busy (no pun intended) with the superficial, ensuring that you skim across the surface of life without probing in depth. Not sure if I want that. Of course it is probably interesting in its own way to a few people but it doesn't appeal to me. At least not now.

My problem is not so much about being stressed out by writing but about not knowing my voice, if you get what I mean. It is frustrating to have ideas and to not know where to lead them. Unless and until I know my direction, my writing will seem disjoint and forced. I'm not too keen on keeping a daily journal - it's like swapping cigarettes for nicotine gum, not the same. If I wanted to do that, I'd have done so a long time ago :)

Everyone

I just need a time-out. I'm sure I'll start writing again once everything settles down, metaphorically speaking.

~SuCh~ said...

Now, thats heartening... will wait till you feel that everything has settled down. (Its just a feeling, remember.. things almost never really "settle" down and you wouldnt like it if they did:))

Anonymous said...

u did ask to use ur mail if one felt like a 'shout' but not using it...neways u sound so full of urself....conveniently camaflouged in intelletualism or whtever i suppose....u once said ur writing was a craft and craft are babies of the mind... and everybody loves their babies even when they tire them out...so take ur break and get back soon...actually thot u were on a break alredy wht with deutchland n all aufwiderzane!(dont mind the splg)