Monday, June 20, 2005

Challenged

She looked ruefully at the unforgiving sky -- believing, yet disbelieving. She felt like a smile. She felt like a cry. It had happened. Like he had said it would, leaving her wondering if it was all real.
***
He got into bed quietly. A warmth spread across his body as he wistfully replayed snatches from the conversation they had had. I just want to hear you breathe, she had said. Sometimes Hope is cruel, yet he hoped.

To stand on the shore and look as the river passed him by, or to plunge into it, had been the question. He had decided to lose himself. He had decided to gift his dreams to the night, so that she would see them in the morning.

The digits on the LED clock glowed in the dark, reminding him of the morrow and the mundane.

He didn't want to sleep. But he wanted sleep like never before.

He didn't want to dream. But he wanted dreams like never before.

He didn't want to wake up. But he wanted to wake up like never before.

He felt her words in the cold draught that had somehow slipped into his room -- just like her.

He felt her words in the soothing darkness that lay around him -- just like her.

He felt her words echo in the memory of all the days that he had gone sleepless.

He closed his eyes, and heard her coy voice again, with the pain hidden so well, he had almost missed it.
He wondered if she was the mystery that he didn't want to solve.

He wondered if she was the wave that would take him out to sea and never bring him back.

He wondered if she was the woman he had never dared to put down in words, scared of tempting Fate.

He wondered if she was his past come alive to be moulded into his future.

He wondered at how she was everything he was and yet everything he wasn't.

He wondered if this was how it felt to be weak, to be vindicated, to be Alive.

He wondered if eye-shadow could be more enrapturing, silence more resonant, pain more poetic.

He saw her in the playful darkness -- pleading at him to explore.

He could see her in the dissolving shadows -- waiting for him to throw light her way.

He saw her in the demure streaks of sunlight -- brilliant and pristine, so full of Life.

He could see her in the rain, in the lightning -- revealing, hiding.

He fell asleep, dreaming of dreaming about her.
***
She looked ruefully at the unforgiving sky -- believing, yet disbelieving. She would await his dreams in the morning.

14 comments:

Samudraa said...
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Samudraa said...

Shaken!Smiling!Crying!Feeling!Living!

Thanks Rajesh,that was amazing.........words fail me.

Kripa Shankar said...

Super.

The Man Who Wasnt There said...

ha ha! You are "hopeless" :p Again the eternal battle between phantasmagoria and reality...:) guess you have ur illusory world and err..I have mine....

Brood Mode said...

lovely, as abstract as abstract can get. U must do this more often.

And girish.... I'm sorry he can't see it

Samudraa said...

Truly abstract,i must say!

And yeah,u seem 2 've won the challenge.......much to the relief of the one who challenged!:)

The Man Who Wasnt There said...
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The Man Who Wasnt There said...

Err..."I cant see it" ? *sighs* it is akin to saying.."You are spiritually devoid..you wont understand..." :P:P how can one give a "concrete" definition of what is "abstract"? That's a paradox and hence "abstract" cannot be defined....as it cannot be defined you are leaving it to the discretion of the reader to define however she/he wants it to be as. Given such a carte blanche I personally would define "reality" as itself "abstract" and keeping in with my definition I would be pretty consistent...
ah! free...as usual..you wont understand..:p

musafir said...

@ samudraa: Thanks :) - it came out well, didn't it?

@ kripa shankar: You don't have to say anything else - Thanks :)

@ girish...!: Haha, now why am I not surprised to hear you say that? The battle was always eternal! And yes, we are comfortable in our own 'worlds', aren't we?

@ brood mode: Thanks, but I've been doing this all along!! Maybe you weren't looking hard enough? ;)

@ girish...! and brood mode : Are you guys talking about me by any chance? :D

. : A : . said...

Shaken and stirred! Love the way you have weaved your words through this piece.

consumerdemon said...

huh?

musafir said...

@.:a:. : I didn't imagine the effect this post would have, but sometimes it is nice to be surprised :). Appreciate your comment, as always.

@consumerdemon: ;)

Anonymous said...

i bet this a longlost love or someone u see that way..someone who seems to be th perfect foil ..all the best- keep writing!n if it indeed wot i say, then i wish u luck for that as well

sem said...

seems to be a lucky realisation of one lost in love....very stirring indeed!